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Why Men Are So Serious About A Game

My husband loves to play football on weekends. Since the time I’ve dated him, I’ve seen him totally serious about his play. He plans in advance, packs his shorts, shoes and socks, in the car, or gets it transported through family or friends, or whatever, but come weekend, he is ready to play.

For the life of me, I cannot understand what drives him to play, after a rough day. Even if he missed sleep for two nights in a row, he is still all set to play. Earlier, I would get worried and ask him to come home and rest but he always said “No, no I can play, no problem.”

After the game, when he comes home, he is so happy. For a girl, we would be that happy after coming back from spa! Then I realized, this is a stress buster for him. I love him after football – he is happier, and more loving.

Men need to play, especially with other men – this, I read, in a book recently. Men “need” to play. For us women, it is just a game. For them, it is meeting a need.

It seems, competing is part of a man’s makeup – a man is always measuring himself against men. Men also compete against themselves all the time and they want to beat their own previous performances. Of course, this competitive streak is unhealthy, if it’s out of whack. The same principle applies – too much of anything is too bad.

For men, they love to relieve and release their stress on that big ball.

So how do wives handle this?

This is what Rick Johnson says in his book Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half: “Contrary to popular opinion, men like their wives to accompany them in their activities. They like their wives to be their companion while doing things they like to do. It is their way of developing intimacy. Guys that are friends do things together. Why wouldn’t a man want his wife and companion to do things with him as well?”

Well, if not always, we can plan an adventure trip with our spouses. After our recent trip to the Andamans, I told my husband we must go back into the waters and scuba dive or para-sail, and he was all kicked about it! He began his research on the net and we added wildlife sanctuary trips to our list too.

Of course, when he needs his guy time, I let him go, for obvious reasons – I can’t play football with him and his gang of boys!

Men don’t talk while playing! 

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Ladies, while you let the man go, a warning – he is serious about his game. Don’t expect him to SMS you during the game. I remember this one time, duringcourtship, when Mark (my husband), was supposed to pick me up from somewhere and drop me home, soon after his game. I kept waiting and waiting, and he never lifted the phone or replied to messages, and here the clock was ticking, and I was just inviting my parents’ wrath. His game was done by 11pm, and one of his friends happened to pick my call and inform him. Here’s the worst part – Mark was already on his way to drop one of his guy friends home! And turns out – he actually forgot about me!

When he called me back, he felt so terrible and so miserable and I knew his remorse was genuine. Since he was on his way to the other side of town, he sent his friend to drop me home, who filled me in on some scoop. Turns out my future husband was cursing himself for forgetting me “I’m such a jerk, man. I forgot about her. She was sitting there alone, waiting for me!” Apparently he kept saying this over and over again.

It’s funny how I did not get upset. I just laughed it off, because I knew he did not do that on purpose – he just got engrossed and lost in his game. I learnt my lesson – never tie any responsibility to him before or after football hours.

Here’s another good quote from the book – “One man told me, ‘Men must have some play in their lives. It helps if their wife is involved. Find common interests and do them often. Do not judge play as childish or immature. Support it, encourage it, participate in it!’

And I love this part. It was kinda an eyeopening reminder: “Men don’t always like to talk while at play. Talking is not a recreational activity for men ”

– Shruthi Joy Chouhan

Shruthi Joy Chouhan is a writer, communicator, compulsive blogger and a passionate believer. She works as an independent media consultant. She works extensively with young adults to help them overcome hurts and hangups! Lives and celebrates life with hubby Mark at Hyderabad. www.shruthijoy.wordpress.com

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