Dear Newly Weds

I want to remind you of the vows you made to one another on your wedding day – “to love and cherish one another, till death does you apart.” This, you promised you will do, as you take each other “for better or for worse.” These vows made before God and His people cannot be taken lightly – or broken easily!

In a world where we are pulled apart with the slightest provocation, I would like to bring you a gentle reminder that God who brought you together, and desires you both to be ‘pulled together’ instead. As you will realize, this does not automatically happen! At a time when marriages are breaking up so fast, I want to write to you some things that could help you!

My husband and I have been married for 54 years!! This will seem like a long time to you! The road has not always been smooth! But there were some things that have helped us whenever the conflicts arose! Let me share them with you. Perhaps they will help you too.

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

In your relationships with one another, seek to develop these four things. This will not be easy – but it is possible with God’s grace and the help of His
enabling Spirit.

Accept one another as you are. You have different temperaments, different backgrounds etc. You will try to change the other to become the person you thought you married. But it never happens. Pray instead “Lord, change me!” As you change you will find that God will also bring changes you desire to see.

Adjust to one another. The purpose of marriage as ordained by God is “Oneness” so there will be areas where you need to give in and adjust. Ego and love cannot go together!

Appreciate one another. We are very quick to find fault and criticize one another, aren’t we? Try instead to appreciate one another for the good things you see. Perhaps you can thus encourage the other to do more good things.

Apologise and forgive one another. When we hurt one another, we tend to harbour our resentment and anger or we explode in a temper! We find it difficult to forgive, make allowances for one another. But this is important. Though difficult, ask God’s help and He will help you humble yourself to do this and bring reconciliation.

BUILD COMMUNICATION BRIDGES

Conflicts are inevitable. Conflicts can be destructive – as they often are! But with care and prayer, you can make it constructive drawing you both even closer with renewed understanding! Communication is therefore important. You need to:

Transparency – be open with one another. Share and pray together.

Trust – have faith in one another – don’t allow suspicions to spoil your relationships.

Truth –You need to build your home on solid foundation of Truth in Jesus.

Read and pray together Ephesians 4: 17-32 on how you can follow these instructions in your life. May God make your marriage so you build each other to become the best God has created him/her to be! God bless you and keep you in His love and care.

JULIET THOMAS